Lee,

I think I did give some background and what lead up to our separation in other posts, but I don't know how to find them...

My wife left because over the past several years I became more and more distant while she was trying to hold us together. After the split I really started to try to figure myself out and realized that I'd been suffering from chronic depression that had crept up on me and stole my emotions. She suffered greatly through those years thinking I just didn't care any more- about anything...

We'd go to counseling and I'd see that our relationship was worth doing whatever it took to save and I'd work hard to save it- for a while. Then I'd always slip away and become disconnected and feel unworthy again. Over the last year I had pretty much no emotions and, in the end, just let her walk away. It was only after that I realized I had a real problem and can (hopefully) find treatment.

I've never felt the intense and debilitating (and long lasting) pain that I have over the past months... I have met with a therapist and will also be evaluated by a nurse practicioner next week.