No more bad news! Just got word that a close friend died yesterday morning. He had a brain tumor that was sitting on his respiratory center (only known to his wife for the last couple years). Is it abnormal to feel like somehow it is me being cursed and actually bring this all down on the world. Rationally I know better but emotionally It is hard to distinguish.

I'm trying to be strong, and keep knocking on doors but it seems like no one is home. I need a vacation from these clouds that seem to be swirling in my mind.