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Old May 21, 2013, 11:49 AM
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1stepatatime 1stepatatime is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: May 2001
Location: SW Fla.
Posts: 1,160
Quote:
Originally Posted by LearningMe01 View Post
I can SO relate , to both of you!! My T is a lesbian, I identify as bisexual, but am married to a Man. My feelings for T started with a dream. In the dream we were in some sort of relationship...I believe it was a sexual relationship, but there was no "sex" in the dream, it was just implied or something. For the first few days I told myself it was just about the dream, but the feelings just got stronger and stronger. Unlike you all, I do believe they are love feelings, because I would be interested in T even if she wasn't my T...she's "my kind of people" if you know what I mean. I've been seeing her for almost two years and kept my feelings in, I was terrified to talk to her about them, terrified and embarrassed. Because, obviously those feelings aren't returned (and even if they were, she'd never tell me). And it's awkward. I mean, in "real life" situations , you don't have to "discuss your feelings for someone" like that. I finally opened up a couple sessions ago. She was fairly gentle, but at one point said "well, it's not like we can go out for coffee". I said (in kind of a joking manor) "well, for what it's worth - if it was allowed, I would totally ask you out for coffee" she smiled and said "well, you know I can't tell you if I would want to go our not....because it could fuel a fantasy" (fuel a fantasy? Uhm, ouch?) but then she said "but what would it mean to you, if I said yes, if it was allowed , I would like to have coffee with you." What would it mean to me?? It would mean "well damn, she likes me too...but I'm married and I understand boundaries" that's ALL it would mean. I think T's have to be very careful with what they say to ALL their clients, because some might take things way out of proportion, although I think the majority of us are just people looking for a little understanding.

Who would have thought therapy would put us in a situation like this? lol I thought all therapy was supposed to do is help us. (Although, I admit, it really does help me also)

Take care, and hang in there!
Hey,Learning
I understand how you feel.... I am "family"...so I am attracted to people of the same sex. Having said that, I don't think that I feel that attraction for my T...although sometimes it is very confusing!!! Yes, T's do need to be mindful to what they say because some clients may not know boundaries. I am very aware of boundaries... probably too much aware. Well...best wishes to you in the therapeutic experience!!
Thanks for this!
LearningMe01