Hi everyone.

I was only diagnosed with depression recently (I'm 21), but I know I've had it for a long, long time. I had a lot of the symptoms as far back as I can remember and I honestly can't remember ever being happy. Even as a child I was sad a lot of the time, and when I was 12 I almost committed suicide.

What I've really been struggling with lately is feeling hopeless about everything in my life. I can't see myself ever being happy or my life ever getting better. And I can't see my depression ever getting better. I know having a positive attitude is important, but every time I try to think positive thoughts, the negative thoughts come back and push them away.

I think I've been this way for so long that I can't imagine what it's like to be "normal" - depression is my normal. It's almost incomprehensible to me that there are some genuinely happy, optimistic people in the world.

I mean, how do people who have been depressed for a very long time recover? Can you ever be completely normal, or will it always be a struggle?