My husband and I refinanced our house at the end of last year and we took out the cash equity. We put it away in the bank with the intention of saving most of it. We were going to pay some overdue bills, and use some for ourselves, but save a good chunk of it for sometime later.

I found out this weekend that it is almost gone. I know we spent some of it together, after discussion and with both parties knowing that the money was going to be spent, but he spent much of it on lunch here, a doughnut there... several thousand $$$ worth with the debit card without my knowing. Shame on me for not putting it in a passbook immediately.

This is the third time in our marriage that I trusted him to be responsible with money only to find out that he spent it all. We wouldn't be in debt, and we wouldn't have money trouble if he could be trusted with a debit card. It is bringing up all the disrespectful crap that my husband has pulled in the past.

I am sorry to burden you all here with this, but I don't have anyone to talk to in real life.