Bpd confuses me, learning about it cuz I fit some symptoms too. They say it can be hereditary. Meds help some bpd symptoms. Try not to be too afraid of it, it's just info. I'm sorry you're afraid though. Thing with fear of the unknown is that it's still there whether you know it or not. Better to know in my opinion. Dbt is helpful for people with bp and bpd. Maybe check in and say hello in the bpd forum. There are quite a few with bp & bpd and they were kind and welcoming to me, I noticed a very gentle and caring vibe. Hang in there it will get better.