You sound like a kind and gentle person. You sound like an honest person. These are wonderful qualities. And they are yours already.
Maybe you could explore who you would like to be. Decide which qualities you wish to have. I think it helps one to grow when we have a clear idea where we want to go. Just write them down and see how you can bring them to life in you.

If that doesn't sound helpful then perhaps you can find a charity group or community service group to join. There isn't a better way to build self esteem than helping others. There are so many ways a person can help others.

I send you good wishes for your journey