I still have my blog and I update it whenever I have a new discovery for my road of healing. I haven't been "attacked" since that first blog. I had also made a follow up to that post stating that this blog is not intended for people who are close minded and take my chosen path as a personal attack on them. If they don't like it they don't need to read it cause all it'll do is upset their system and that's not good for them.

But I want to encourage others that are trying to no longer dissociate or at least be able to cope with every day life so they don't have that need. It'll probably still happen since it's been so automatic but hopefully at least for me not so frequently and without warning. If I can help one person with my experiences, then that would make it all worth the effort of putting it out there. I know I wish I could speak to others that are traversing this road, such as Amanda who is working through issues which in turn has a domino affect with the issues that come with dissociative disorders.

I know there's others that are trying to overcome that rock bottom crash and not make the bottom look like that's a great place to be to the rest of the world. One more voice out there saying "yes, I dissociate. Yes, it does affect my life in ways I don't want it to. And yes, I'm doing something about it" can lead to others of any mental illness classification to know there's always a choice.

You can either keep going on this path or you can slow for the turn off to a new path. If it doesn't get you where you want there's always other paths. You have to do a lot of hard work and finding the path you want to be on in the first place is half the work right there. Everyone has a choice. A lot of things have happened that took my rights and I had no power and no choice. That doesn't mean I don't have the power or the choice or the rights now. Now is my time to heal and the government even recognizes that until I get to a better place I can't function well out of my comfort zone(s). So I get disability to support me until I can get on my feet and not live off of the hard earned income of others; when I have that option placed in front of me by finally a psychologist with many many many years of helping others with DID overcome their problems as a whole and be self-efficient again.

It's not easy by any means but I trust her and she has confidence that I can and will reach my potentials if I do the work. If I never was found by her student, I wouldn't have any of these tools. I'm so thankful to her. I know how hard it is to find a good psychologist.

So my message on my blog basically is: "don't give up. There's a lot of well meaning mental health people out there who can really do a lot more damage if they don't know what works with us. So if you're feeling worse and finding yourself in a bigger internal mess after seeing your clinician. . .reevaluate things. Yes there's ups and downs with any type of therapy, but if you're getting worse and worse and not better. . .please find someone that has success stories a plenty with working with trauma and dissociation". Of course not everyone likes that message that's okay though they need to take care of themselves in the best way they know.