Quote:
Originally Posted by lilmoongoddess
Then in January he quit his job with no notice. I initially supported him. But then he would sit on the computer all night and sleep all day. I offered to help write his resume and to look for jobs. He also stopped helping out around the house. The odd time he'd cook dinner, but I did all the cleaning and laundry. I was also working full-time shift work and trying to write a master's thesis. I would ask him to help and he'd get mad and say I'm just looking for faults in him.
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That paragraph alone means that you will be better off without him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilmoongoddess
Then one day he asked me if I'd consider being in a threesome with him and another guy. I thought about it for a week and got really emotional one night and asked him how he could even want to see another guy have sex with me. He dropped it.
Please be kind in your responses.
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I will try to be kind yet helpful. For the future, not with this man but with somebody else, if the man is suggesting a threesome with him and another guy (a guy - not a girl), and you do not want it, try phrasing your rejection of the idea in terms that would make your man feel favored and preferred. In practical terms, I would employ such tools as a sexy voice, sultry bedroom eyes, and the message I would try to get across is that of being content and happy with him ALONE and not wanting him to join forces with any other guy in a quest to give you pleasure because you do not want it, do not need it, and, instead, you only want him, and want him a lot.
That kind of rejection would have been received much better, I am sure, than what you did, because what you did was denying him the option of wanting what he wants. You asked how he could have possibly wanted to see another guy have sex with you. Well, since he said what he said, he clearly wanted to see another guy have sex with you, so you could have gently deflected the want (see above), and/or found out why he wanted it, but not telling him that he should not have wanted what he wanted, because people in general like to be entitled to their desires. People in general have a good understanding that their desires might not be satisfiable in reality, but they can and should be able to still have the desires.
Yet another compromise could have been to have regular one-on-one sex asking him to pretend that another guy was simply sitting on a chair next to the bed and looking/watching. Nothing but watching. What would have your man thought picturing another guy watching? etc. etc. Be creative and use your imagination - it is one of the key things that make humans human.
Back to the story as a whole - you are better off without him. That was just one tidbit that, in my mind, was mishandled.
Focus on the master thesis, your own friends, etc.
Good luck!