I didn't let anyone close.....for 15 years!! The one that got through is the reason I'm here, but since then, I long for a close relationship, companionship, someone who cares, and find myself in this situation again and again. My mind doesn't know how to make friends but keeps desperately trying. I'll be honest...I wish my mind would go back to before this happened. I didn't know about BPD...I could cope....life wasn't perfect but I could deal.... http://forums.psychcentral.com/borde...d-anymore.html Keep in mind when this was written..... I'd just started PC...