Hi davmid. I think it's both. You have a lot to mourn. Also, you probably are really depressed. I think you have reason to be.

I know they say that, if you are sad over something that it makes sense to be sad about, then that is not real depression. At least, I think that is kind of how the theory goes. I think real depression exists when the things that you are sad about involve so much of a loss that it feels like more than you can cope with. I think you are that sad.

Your wife is moving on in a direction that she is happy to be going in. You are not. You didn't want any of this. So it is tragic for you. I am very sorry. It doesn't sound like your wife is coming back. I think that is the impression you are getting. I'm sorry. It's too soon to just "move on." You have to grieve.

The most important thing you need is friendship and love. Be as close to your kids as you can. Nurture any other relations that are significant. Also, be open to new people - just as people for now. It's too soon to think of finding a new love.