When I mentioned how he behaves at first it was doing stuff to push me away, to hurt me. But from an emotionally abusive relationship that stuff just doesn't effect me anymore. I understand he doesn't want to get close so he doesn't have to feel again. Basically a fear response. And in the beginning I would ask a question and he would say something like its a guy thing. His way of avoiding. I called his bs and he has opened up more through the years and if the conversation starts getting deep he now just says I don't want to talk about it. Um, there was a period where we weren't together, and he dated this girl, stayed at her house and then would bring her over, mind you I still lived with him, and sleep in the same bed, hold hands and such. For the two weeks he dated her, he barely saw his kids. I had them all the time. We were out of the house a lot cause I didn't want them seeing that and getting confused. His daughter the social bubble just saw her as a friend but his son clung to me for dear life. I didn't sleep in a bed for those two weeks, it was either on the recliner or on the floor in the kids room with them putting there hand or leg on me to make sure I was there. So the attachment to the kids is deep. He said that he realized then that he loved me but still didn't say anything for another year. And the only reason it lasted two weeks was because he missed me too much. He apologized for everything and say he was wrong and if I don't want him anymore that he would understand. But being the understanding, possibly naive person I am I took him back.

And the vasectomy was something that was coming anyway, it just happened as soon as we started dating. He confessed once that he did want a kid with me, but whether that will happen who knows.