I was like that when I was younger. I'd be so into them at the beginning, convinced sometimes that they were 'the one' and then I just couldn't bear them even hugging me, let alone kissing after a short while. As you say, repulsed. Even if on paper they seemed great, and there were some things that they did I thought were real good character strengths, I just couldn't stop myself from feeling that way. I did have a couple of exceptions to the pattern tho, a couple of guys I adored for a long time.

I put it down to a mixture of things, being not ready for a relationship at that time, no matter how I felt at the beginning and simply that those guys were not for me.

Why not have a break from dating? I did (but that was because an ex was abusive too), but it also did me a world of good. When I met my other half, I was more peaceful with myself and able to work through some of the issues with myself once the smitten stage wore off. I love him more than ever because I stuck with it and came out the other side, as it were, but there was always something different about him which kept me going, I thought he was something special and I think I am right. I just hope he feels the same!!

I don't think you are unlovable..

Hugs.