I've only canceled appts if I was truly too sick to go in. Like everyone, I have days where I am nervous or am afraid or even angry but I always show up.

I have had a very, very difficult week and look an absolute physical mess. To use an analogy, if I were an alcoholic, I would be coming off a big bender this week. So, because my T and I had an interruption to our schedule and he wanted to me to keep up contact via email, I detailed my "bender" and just what a physical mess I am. He gave a brief, generic T response about looking forward to when we meet again and can talk. I don't want him or anyone to see me right now because of how I look So I sent a msg. saying I had to cancel and told him the reason why.

Now I am wondering if I made a mistake canceling. I don't want to be wishy-washy, I feel like I made the decision to cancel and should stick with it (I don't feel like its fair to Ts schedule to play games with the time slot). I didn't cancel out of anything to do with the therapy or work in there, it really is about wanting to crawl under a rock...but did I make a mistake? Why do I feel regret when at the same time I feel relieved he doesn't have to see what a mess I am?