Bless your heart. He sure is in denial. He can't accept that HE had ANY responsibility in the demise of the marriage at all.

Obviously he need therapy, but I don't know how you'd get him there. You'd have to knock him over the head, put him in the therapists chair and strap him in!

The ONLY thing I can recommend is to SEVERELY limit the time you have to be around this man. If he wants to see the children, then pick a neutral place where he can pick them up -- you can meet him there with the kids, and just have the kids jump into his car so you won't have to talk to him. If there are any times you need to talk to him, do it on the phone. If he starts any of his nonsense, HANG UP. Keep hanging up when he plays his "poor me" stuff until he learns you aren't going to play his games anymore.

You've got to get the upper hand. Don't be his pawn anymore. Take your power back.! I wish you the very best, my friend! God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee