oh and I do love her, and a part of my trauma (the first trauma in my life)is I felt admired.
when I recently told her that's how I felt about my trauma, when I was able to experience my own feelings instead of hers,, it was a lot of admiration an pain mixed together, that when I feel amired like that now I feel like they want me so bad and I meant that in a sexual way.. she said she admired me for telling her that . these r the things she says to me that makes it hard for me to let go!!! she is messing with my head she knows how and what to say I think to make me still feel an attachment i know i haven't herd the last from her. i feel like once i start moving away from he she will drag me back into to her. i mean is that an addiction of some sort,, it feels like its very hard to fight off those feelings.. and as much as i know it will bother her more if i don't respond,, i still do.