*hugs* Being depressed and suicidal stinks. You can get through this! You're in college right? Go visit the counselling centre on campus and they will help point you in the right direction for getting some help for yourself. It might seem terrifying... but it will be worth it in the long run. It sounds like you've had a lot of stress this year, on top of it being your first year in college. Talking to a professional about it would be the best idea, as well as trying to take care of yourself.

Good luck! You can do it, and communities like this one will always be around to be supportive.