With everything I have been through, especially in the drug realm, it is pretty safe to say I trust almost no one. There are only 2 people on this earth that I truly 100% trust. To me trust is earned not given so by the nature of that statement you must give someone the chance to earn trust. This is where it all falls apart for me. I hardly ever go anywhere I don't absolutely have to, like kids activities and doctors appointments. Sometime I even cancel the dr appointments if I don't want to leave the house. I would much rather just spend all my time home..alone with the exception of my children of course. So for me it is like a vicious circle that perpetuates itself. I don't trust anyone because I don't give anyone the chance to earn it because I don't go anywhere to meet such a person to offer a chance.
In a way I am the cause of my own unhappiness. I sit and think of how nice it would be to have someone to love and spend my life with that loves me as much as I love them but I never give myself the chance.