aww thank you guys.

i am making positive steps forward recently. im not sure how many of you remember me saying about Julie, a girl in work i like alot. well i got her mobile number today, we are getting on well lately so i thoguht i would make an advancement, and get her number. so i am working on that, taking it day by day and not expecting too much, only expecting things to work out how they should naturally, nothing forced. i know that if i left it and didnt get her number before i left i would regret it, so i might as well try.

and ont he music side of things...i have requested brochures for colleges in ym local area, and they should be arriving soon. i have talked to my dad about turning our spare room into a music room for me, putting a keyboard int here so i can learn to play piano. i told him that i want to go to college and start singing lessons and piano lessons int he new year, as well as college. i told him i willg et a part time job whilst i study. he seemed ok about it. but he didnt hang around to talk about it for long,s o i dont suppose hes very keen on it. but i actually dont care though, the way i am now is that the more people put me down and act negatively towards me only boost my enthusiasm and determination. i have tons of determination, more than i have ever had and i know that i will make it.

so things are on the up. my sister has moved out and so the atmosphere has relaxed abit and my dad seems calmer.

all in all, things seems o positive to me. i really appreciate the lows i experience because it makes me appreciate the highs and it makes me more enthusiastic to succeed too. im beginning to see that maybe i do have some sort of talent. somebody paid me such a huge compliment in an email i recieved recently. they told me that for 10 years they have been holding emotions inside, and they have been unable to wirte their feeligns down like they use to. but they said after hearing my song "smooth" for the thrid time, it got them into writing and ended up writing over 20 pages!! they said it was my song that unlocked that and it makes me so proud to knwo that i was able to help somebody unlock such an important door for them and to knwo it was the first thing in 10 years to help them do so is such a compliment. the best one ive had to date, and it has made me so happy because i class "smooth" as an experimental song and i didnt think it held power like that. so if i am capable of that for my first ever non-lyrical song, i get excited to think what i can achieve with more effort and singing.

thank you everyone. i wouldnt be able to do this without any of you. you are helping me improve my life so much and i feel such a different person. i feel i have been granted a second chance at life and i am going to make the most of it. i appreciate what i have been given and even though there are negatives in my life right now, i know how to find the silver lining. and thats what i am doing. everythign in life has a good side, it might be hard to see, almost impossible sometimes. but it is there.

i will be sure to keep you all updated on both julie and my college work.

thanks again.

simon