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Originally Posted by genetic
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How right you are, in my view! There is always that unconditional love, though, that helps to make life full in meaning. That may be why parents are often suggesting that "I can't wait 'til you have children so you'll know how it is with parenting".
And all the while, those of us who are grandparents are relishing the joy of our grandchildren's presence while we entertain them and then send them back to their parents for discipline and all the other training required.
It all balances itself out in the long run for many of us.
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That unconditional love thing, is a big deal, no doubt. I've discovered, how ever that unconditional love can be miscued to forgetting who the person behind the mom is, to making the child everything and everything. Balance is important.
Considering my own youth past, to me, the kids were/are a blessing. Yet, I am mindful to maintain my own identity within this. (perhaps, therapy work came through here...or that moment of truth, three screaming babies, not one choice as to who to go to first seemed the right answers. Leaned to let go of what was out of my control.
Being pulled in three different directions, at once, was one of those mind blown moments.
Learned under fire. In doing so, I was also working on my baggage in therapy. Around this time, I learned the value of you cannot please them all.
And eventually, we do grow to be grandparents. Maybe, I'll watch unfold answers to how could I have handled that better, watching my own children, raise there.
There's no rewind/mute/go-back on kids. Once in, it's a lifetime.