but not the ones I am closest to. As a matter of fact, the closer I get to someone the harder it is to remain opened up at all. I just start to freak out after awhile, like I have something so shameful to hide. I guess that would be my illness. Most of the time, when I try to tell them how I feel, it comes out sounding so incredibly disjointed and, well, dumb.

No wonder they are always looking at me funny...


Oh, well, it makes for a little entertainment with some of the looks I have been able to see from my view.

...just an "eccentric" way at looking at things, I guess. Hey! Maybe a warped sense of humour is my consolation prize for having to endure being messed up. Anyone know what I mean, or am I all alone in having little "asides" of humour in the conversations I have with myself?