EllieBear - I remember those previous threads on this topic, too.

The pre-verbal times don't come up too often for me. We get way back to pre-verbal after talking about childhood sometimes. I have paid attention to and talked to t about the feelings I experience now that seem related to that time. Like what feels frustrating? where am I sensing things - is my stomach upset? is my chest uncomfortable? are my fists clenched? T helps put it in perspective as it relates to what my circumstances back then. What might make sense, etc. It helps me. Her thing about dealing with trauma verbal or before is that acknowledging it the first step. There's no quick fix. For me it comes from teasing out these little moments that are before coherent memory with her for better understanding. I don't think I could do this by myself.

The fact that you just want to curl up and cry when you and t start to talk about it sounds like a great place to start. You aren't responsible for knowing or telling her 'why' you are feeling the way you are. Maybe it will help if you try to get into that feeling as much as you can and then describe it to t.