Willow: Thank you so much for sharing.. I don't believe you are off topic. I think you have a lot of valid questions. I wonder the same things you brought up... but I caution that you don't get too caught up in over-thinking the diagnoses. All these symptoms you have had, many of us have on a continuous spectrum. These symptoms come and go for a lot of us, sometimes we need help with them and other times we don't.

Like you said, you forced yourself to get out and walk your dog and get to the market. That is a great feat. I struggle with forcing myself to do these things and the self care stuff too. The problem we have is when we do have insight and appear to function so well, then the pdocs don't think there's a severe issue.

On the other hand if we tell the shrinks everything, (like how I tend to isolate and feel I am being watched at times) then they tend to change diagnoses and overmedicate.

I think if the symptoms are really bad, preventing us from living, then perhaps we do need to get help. I don't know. My suspiciousness of others prevents me from being frank and honest. I don't want another diagnoses or drug.

I am 43 yrs. old and have had to learn to deal with myself and "symptoms" and psychiatry for more than half my life. Treatment started seriously at 13. So, my perspective is very jaded and skewed as opposed to people here who are in their 20's. or new to the wonderful world of psychiatry.

Willow., it sounds to me that you are having some symptoms that are really interfering with your daily life.. I hope they get better. It is a bummer to feel surveilled and to have no privacy.