Thanks Lee,

I have been on disability since Feb 2012; started on 10 of Citalopram; now up to 40mg a day. About a month later, Clonazepam 1mg was added. In October, the psychiatrist added Wellbutrin but I didn't tolerate it well so he switched me to Effexor 150mg. At my last appointment, I was also given Risperidone 1mg in morning and night. I started seeing a therapist (psychologist) in September and we have been working on various things in my life.

At 12 years of age, I was molested; 15 years, I was raped with another at 18; became very promiscuous maybe in part because I started to view myself as only someone would want for a night or something. My mom passed when she was 44; I was 23. I was a mom of 2 beautiful girls at that time and conceived my son the month she passed. I married the kids' father 15 months after mom's death and 15 months after we married, I caught him in bed with my best friend. She's no longer a friend but we're still married. I go through days and episodes where it feels like everything from my past comes back to haunt me.

Mother's Day, the day I wrote this, I had been having a particular bad day. All I asked for from my family was for us to spend 1 1/2 hours with me and all of us go for a walk somewhere in the sun and fresh air. My daughter was too busy "Getting ready for work" - she worked 4 hours after we would have been home from the walk; my second oldest was "too busy doing homework" and talking to her online boyfriend on Skype - he lived in TN then and now NV while we live on the east coast of Canada. My son was too busy playing x-box and online video games and my husband had a headache. The only one who had a valid excuse was my husband as he has a brain injury from four years ago.

Been having trouble with our son; swearing, punching holes in the walls, not doing chores, skipping school, not bathing or changing his clothes; now suspended for writing a "threatening" email and was threatened by the school that if someone didn't come clean about it, they would have to go to court. Wow.... I want to complain to the school board but I don't want my son's year to be a waste; they hold grudges at this school.

We have started family counseling and have attended 4 sessions. So far, so good but nothing has changed at home yet...