I have cancelled, regretted it, called and got the time back again. It happens, we don't need to punish ourselves by forcing ourselves to stick to a decision that is changeable. My T would not be able to fill the time quickly (which is why I pay her when I cancel), but if that were to happen, it would be understandable and possibly there would be another time I could have instead. I also wouldn't want to do this often, out of consideration for T. But, as I am learning, self-judgement is really self-punishing, and changing my mind or making a decision I regret, isn't the end of the world.

Exploring it can make for a good session.