Thanks. I am trying to climb out of this hole of self pity right now, not used to losing control over myself like that. My support system here is equally dysfunctional as my marriage was; I am not native to the US, my family is in europe and they have no clue as to what is going on here....her family is doing whatever they can to help me and the kids, they have emotionally detached themselves already. I am juggling my job, divorce proceedings that are currently halted, two households and a bunch if emotional stuff for almost two years now. Having anxiety has become so normal that I feel strange when I dont have any. Its good to hear the same thing from different people again and again, I just need to let go. Thanks!!!