Thanks everyone for the ideas. I have a hard time with not being able to explain things...I want all of my feelings to make sense so I can justify having them, so I was really struck by the idea that I don't have to be able to explain why I feel like I do. I've got to remember that with this I may not ever be able to do that, and I guess that's okay. I don't know...that is so foreign to me. I won't let myself feel anything unless I have a specific reason to feel it. This all gives me a lot to think about. Thanks!