Everything seems to be going wrong...

Its seems i have no one left in my life...

Friends dont call... family dont call...

My mom says she cares but i dont believe her sometimes...

My dad keeps telling me he wants his lil girl back but shes gone now... (meaning the old me).... i really miss having him in my life... When we start getting along he starts drinking again... Hes drunk everyday now... Ive lost my dad the main thing i need in my life... and he wonders why i am the way i am... He's supposed to go to rehab soon but i know when he gets out he will drink again... But he wants us to be a family again... But its funny how he pays more attention to my sister... my mom does the same... Its always oh ashley lets go here and there... Ashley will you go do this for me... Ashley will you help me... ITS NEVER amy i need you to help... Amy lets go do something together... NEVER!!!! I've lost everything...
The only thing i have is my guys... thats it!
My sister is getting married in the summer... so ill only have her for a lil while longer...
Nobody knows how i feel bc i just dont have the heart to really talk to anybody about this...Cept you guys... I havent even posted in here in a while... cuz i moved for a while and then i just never have time...
I dropped outta school and i havent even told my recruiter yet... but oh well and i most likely wont even have that (The National Guard) much longer... bc my stupid dr.!
I see no reason in why i even exist...
I see no reason in why i try...
Everytime i try i fail to everyone around me that matters... but to those that matter to me... i dont matter...
Im beginning to really hate my life...
Its going no where special...
Ill be an adult soon (56 days) and im nothing to anybody
I feel i have failed my whole family and my friends...
I dont know what to do... i think i need help mentally but i dont know where to turn...

Can someone help me?

<33 Amy