I've taken meds on and off for depression my entire adulthood. I only received my bipolar diagnosis about 6 years ago, and I've toyed with my meds still on and off since then, very much in rebellion against/ denial of my diagnosis. But a couple of months ago I had a manic episode that really scared me. I rarely get manic. in fact this was the first manic episode i have had in at least 7 years. my hospitalizations ave all been for depressive episodes. But this episode landed me in the hospital for mania with psychosis, and I have finally come to terms with the accuracy of my diagnosis. I take my meds consistently now and have no intention of screwing with my meds and deliberately risking that kind of episode again.