I know my body holds on the certain sensations, smells etc... very very well. In fact, after sometime in therapy, talking about things doesn't bother me anymore.

The body memories, however, are another issue. They remain to this day very evocative and upsetting.

My recovery from that upset is much much faster now. It's become "okay, I feel this way, it sucks, but let's regroup, feel the ground under my feet, feel my feet on the ground."

They aren't disgusting, just there.

Perhaps you could try to understand and love your body better. As it holds onto bad things, it also holds on to good. You can remember what chocolate tastes like.

You can feel soft cotton and soap bubbles.

You can move, smell a gardenia, hold a dog, sleep, wake, and breathe.

All the good stuff that your body does for you is still there, trucking along, keeping you alive.