I don't think confronting an abuser helps - often you won't get the response you want. I talked to my mum once about neglecting me, making me live with DV etc and she said: "Well, that was a very hard time for me," and "At least you spent a lot of time out of the house." That almost broke me. Anyone who abuses you in any way has already failed to see you as a person with rights and feelings. They won't magically change.

I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you. I would strongly recommend you talk to someone - a counsellor or therapist, a women's helpline, something like that. Your m was wrong to blame you. Abuse is NEVER the victim's fault. You deserve to be heard and to heal. YOU haven't hurt anyone. You are not to blame.