T, I was really afraid of that too. I had kept my plan a compete secret from everyone for 2 years, even to the point where I was ready to immediately act on it. No one suspected at all and I was even joking about it at work, no one had any clue that my "jokes" were a cover for my real plan.

On the night I decided to try the hotline though, it was very much in my mind that I had made a choice to try an alternative to my plan. I went to the ER and let several people know why I was going there and what I had been planning. The biggest thing is that when talking to the doctor, I realized that I had to be completely open and honest about my feelings, my thoughts, and my plan. If I had continued to hold back out of fear of what would happen next, then I wouldn't really have been giving the "choice" I made a fair chance. If I wanted an alternative to suicide, I had to put all my effort and faith and trust into allowing people to help me.

It can be scary, true, but I think you owe it to yourself to "go for it" as fully as possible.

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--http://www.idexter.com