The only reason you think you're lucky to have him is because he has brainwashed you into believing so...

Here's proof:

He has trust issues so he checks your phone and you are cheating when you speak up about the invasion of privacy. But when you question his secretive behaviour regarding his phone he gets REALLY MAD like he HAS something to hide! but he isn't automatically cheating is he? No he's not...

Do you see what I'm saying? You are already brainwashed to some degree! In your post, you don't bring up the fact that by his own logic he is definitly cheating on you!

Have you brought this up with him atleast? I'm willing to bet money on "no", or you did that 1 time and that's when he got really mad so you never broached this topic again.

That tiny voice making you question him is not to be ignored, its our survival mechanism. Stop drowning it out!

I thought my ex being much like your bf was proof he cared. Nope. Him telling me what to wear and who to speak to was me being abused by someone who wanted to own me as if I were an object he had aquired at a fkn yard sale.

Like you, I stayed too. He will change, he will learn to treat me better, I will set boundaries... He acted nice periodically to keep me hanging on (2 months being his record) but his behaviour escalated after every "last" chance he got from me, and his apologies became more dramatic and "heartfelt" after each transgression. The first time he choked me (it happened twice) it was because I "dissapeared" from a a party and must be cheating. His remorse was so touching and he blamed it on being drunk. The second time I was hanging out with an ex so I was cheating... That time I stabbed the MOFO in the leg and told him not to fk with me.

Then he was crying real tears and remorseful days later, he was drunk" he will stop drinking, he will treat me better, he said in all the years I knew him, he never used to be that way before I had to please believe him, he pleaded, it was the booze!!!
MOFO deserves an Oscar!

Mine groomed me for years before he layed a hand on me, much like a paedo does with his victims. I was too stupid to see it though.

Eventually I was beaten to a pulp for not needing him. Yes you read right folks, because I made my own money and paid my own way and didn't ask him for anything.

So yes my wonderful ex did change, he went from making me feel bad about who I am to giving me 2 black eyes and some bruised ribs for not asking him to buy me a pack of smokes! A pack of fkn SMOKES!!!

Yours is about to change too, because he sees you're putting up with his ********, so after acting all nice, he will start pushing boundaries, no doubt serve you a 5 star meal of ******** one way or the other, one day in the near future, because he obviously doesn't muck about. So early in the relationship and he's painfully obvious instead of subtle...

I really don't intend to be mean when I say this, but staying with him is stupid. You're proving him right in a sense.

You're not actually stupid, but the act of staying is. Especially when you know better, and you evidently do by posting this thread in the first place, AND by the responses received...

I did that very same stupid thing too, but in my defense, I had no inkling I was being abused before he choked me, and even then I stayed. My xbf was much more subtle than yours, didn't call me names and such, just pretended that he knew better and wanted to protect me, and when it turned violent, it crushed my self esteem when I realized where I had lead myself, and the future I was subjecting my daughter to...

My self-esteem was crushed, because for an intelligent girl, I was acting really stupid. I should have just left after weighing the pros and cons, but Noooo, I had to believe in him, why? because love conquers all and there was absolutely no way my parents could be right, they didn't know him!!! Black eyes and bruised ribs are a horrid way to be proved wrong... And even then I couldn't leave immediately, I was scared shitless of the consequences if having my own money got me those results.

Please, don't ignore your instinct, or the words of loved ones, and experienced strangers on the net.

Because the "one more chance" you're giving him now will easily turn into yrs of giving chances when we don't have clear boundaries to begin with. The abuser steps up his nice behaviour to keep his victim (so it can look like change for a while) and also being human makes us adaptable to anything, we can get used to being ill-treated just like we can get used to being paralyzed... it will be such a waste of life that can be put to much better use, trust me. RUN