You sweet thing (((((((((((((LOST_LONELY)))))))))))))
thank you so much! You made a statement, "I believe I'm losing, dying slowly as each day passes" that I totally understand. Even as I try to remain positive I feel the same way as you stated. This is NOT how I want to live, and I believe in "Free Will" I believe that I ultimately can choose how my life will continue from here on out. I can't choose the battles that I will face, but I can choose how I respond to those battles.
You've heard the term "fake it 'til you make it"; I guess that's what's going on with me at the moment. As soon as 10 minutes ago the thought crossed my mind that it's not worth the fight; but I WILL NOT GIVE UP!
You can do this too, I wasn't given a special dose of strength by God; if I can do this, you can too.
Blessings, and hope for tomorrow.
Jon