Alright, please forgive me if this story is all over the map. I can't seem to keep my thoughts straight or in any kind of logical order.

I was diagnosed with Major Depression 296.33 (I've never actually looked it up to see what it means) anyway - oh there I go, already, off in a tangent. The diagnosis came in March 2012. Not long after, I was diagnosed with anxiety.

Long story short, I am on Citalopram 40mg 1 x daily; Effexor 150mg 1 x daily; Risperidone 1mg x 2x daily; and Clonazepam 1mg 1x daily and as needed for anxiety. I also suffer from sever allergies so I take 20mg of Reactine a day, 50mg Benedryl at bedtime and as needed throughout the day and Avamys, a nasal steroid 2x daily.

I find I am very tired - not much wonder - the "cocktail" above is enough to put a sane person in a coma. Thankfully I am not sane.

Oh yeah, the purpose of my story.

I woke up this morning, got out of bed, did the usual bathroom routine. I went downstairs to get some breakfast, noticed the dishes weren't done form last evening, started to fill the sink with water, noticed the dishcloth was kind of stinky so I threw it in the laundry room, noticed a ton of laundry needing to be done, so I started to sort it and began to load the washing machine when I hear water running; I left the sink in the kitchen going and now I had water to clean up. Thankfully there were some towels in the laundry room so I grabbed them to wipe up the water. That;s when I noticed the floor needed to be vacuumed. I went upstairs to get the vacuum and returned to vacuum. I went over to plug it in and noticed a phone charger, realized I didn't have my cell phone with me so I went back upstairs to get it.

I got upstairs, forgot why I was there, so I wandered around, hoping for something to job my memory. My belly growled: I forgot to eat breakfast. So I went back downstairs, turned on the radio, remembered that I forgot my phone. It wasn't on my bedside table so I started looking around; under my bed (where I found some dirty laundry - that I ended up throwing in a basket to take downstairs), I looked in the bathroom, noticed my medicine bottles turned upside down (that's how I remember whether or not I took them - I take the morning ones and flip the night ones and do vice versa at night), took my medicine, heard my phone ring; it was in the closet where I had gotten dressed. Grabbed the phone; noticed the number was unlisted so I figured "bill collector" so I let it go to voice mail. Turns out it was my mother in law inviting us for dinner - which would have been fine hadn't I made chicken soup last night.

I went back downstairs to get something to eat (now 1.5 hours after I attempted to eat), noticed the sink still had dirty dishes in it and I just couldn't make anything with them looking at me. Then I had the feeling I was being watched. I looked around but didn't see anyone but something was eating at me - or rather I was starving and needed to eat.

I settled for a croissant which I figured would hold me until I had the kitchen clean enough to cook something proper. I did the horrible thing and looked into the laundry room and noticed the washer door still open so I had to finish loading that load. Finally I had something in my belly, a load of laundry washing, and a sink full of soapy water and a lot of dishes to be done.

Before I knew it, it was lunch time. My son was the first to appear today; at 12:30 and wondered what I was making him to eat. I told him he was welcome to chicken soup. He said, "Blech." Which in turn made me take deep breath and he asked why I always take deep breaths around him (as hes slurping down the soup he just seconds ago turned his nose up at). I just get so frustrated and I didn't answer him. He got mad and left the soup bowl on the counter and went upstairs. By this time (and now as I write it) my heart feels like it is going to come through my chest.

This is what the doctor calls anxiety....this is what i call inability to stay focused.

Anyone got any ideas?