wow, I read your post and could have written it myself in terms of the hospitalizations, dissociation, ptsd, and rampant depression... I was almost forced into ECT in 2011, but fought hard with the doctor and hospital (I was involuntary for the 20-something time that year) and won. Those who specialized in trauma that I worked with said that ECT was contraindicated. If you have the means, and since ECT is so scary, can you look into a trauma program while your kids are away? I went to a place in DC for 2 weeks and it helped IMMENSELY. I have also heard that there are several places in the southwest that specialize in trauma and a holistic (mind, body, soul) approach to treatment.
The following is a list of places I looked into/am looking into for more treatment. I went to The Center at the Psychiatric Institute of Washington
I have also heard good things about the following places:
Sierra Tuscon (though I think this one only does self-pay so it's way out of most people's league for payment, mine included, but if I had money I would go there)
here's a comprehensive list from the Sidran Institute, a leading trauma treatment clearinghouse of info: http://www.sidran.org/pdf/traumatreatmentcenters.pdf

The place in Boston (Trauma Center) is run by Bessel Van der Kolk, who is a leading researcher in trauma treatment.

I would suggest trying other avenues if you are that terrified of ECT... there's no reason you should have to go through that if there are other options.
I want you to know thought that I am personally VERY against ECT for trauma treatment, as there is no available research showing the efficacy for it. I know there are some personal accounts of positive effect, but the potential damage scares the crap out of me and I would never have it done myself no matter how bad I ever get... I think the consensus among most trauma professionals (I've looked into this, but if someone has info otherwise, please add a link) is that ECT is detrimental to a trauma client.
You will have 6 weeks without your kids, an inpatient stay at one of the specialty centers may make all the difference. It certainly did for me.