Note: ideally I would like to edit my last post, because it serves no purpose. I was feeling fed up, and let rip with the keyboard. And I emoted. In summary, that relationship involved a great deal of trust and loyalty, and it turned out his attitude was fundamentally hostile. It was a situation that was massively damaging to me.

Yes I realise pessimmism can be a problem, and I read Seligman many years ago. You are right! - and what was his formula again? -

# Personal - They may see themselves as the problem; that is, they have internalized the problem.

# Pervasive - They may see the problem affecting all aspects of life.

# Permanent

Actually, theres even a Wiki note about him:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learned_helplessness

"the person who is depressed and a pessimist might make a very good Editor... depressed ppl tend to correctly assess situations and things and not allow too much fluff (go figure.)"

That made me laugh. You are right - yay, me! - it makes me feel better, a bit more confident.....