35 year old son had mental breakdown around Christmas after losing his wife and his job. He had been under trememdous strain for a long time trying to take care of a chronically ill wife, do all the house and cooking, and hold down a stressful job.

So he had to come home to us. We live in the country and we are rather isolated. He has no friends in this area and he is unable to work due to his mental condition. He has sought treatment for that and is in therapy but it is going to be a long process. His doctor has given him anti depressants and chlomaziphan ( wrong spelling but I don't know how to spell it) for his anxiety.

Now I find quite by accident that he has been drinking. Went to put away some of his clothes and found several smallish empty whiskey bottles.

We do not drink and do not have it in the house. He knows that he cannot drink here as it is written down.

He is still in a very emotional state from losing his wife and she is still being manipulative by calling weekly 'just to check in' or to tell him something about the dog or whatever. And he is a mess after every call but will not block her as he still loves her.

Am I being too harsh if I tell him he stops the drinking or he is out of the house. Knowing that he has nowhere else to go as all his friends are a thousand miles away. I love him so much but, having suffered from extreme drinking in my extended family AND knowing that my husband had a drinking problem before I met him many years ago, I just cannot live with alcohol in my house. Will this throw him even further into depression and anxiety because he only has us. Do I have the right to tell a 35 year old that he can't drink here and he can't drive my vehicle when he has been drinking. The way he is right now, unable to think clearly, shaking, sleeping very poorly if at all is breaking our hearts as he has always been a hard working intelligent man and has always had a good job. We walk a fine line as we don't want to set him back from the fragile progress he has made.

Our once happy, calm life has turned into a nightmare and I don't know how to get it back. We love our son very much but.... well we are in our sixties, almost seventies, and we don't know what to do. We would be grateful for any advice.