I'm lost. He finally came and asked me to get outside with him. I told him I just couldn't. In my head or heart I really wanted to, I just simply couldn't in which ever other area it was. After an hour or so I talked myself into it and got up, went outside and sat with him. Within 5 minutes of that he said he thought he should mow. (He just cut the grass 5 days ago). After he walked away and didn't come back for 15 mins, I went back in, sat in a chair and fell asleep. When I woke up I heard him back outside where we had been, so I went back out. I sat there not even 5 minutes and he says he is Hungary. I tell him I am not. He says he is going to go fix something. I sit in the swing for about 40 minutes. He never comes back. I finally go inside and he is sitting on front of the tv watching the race. I just don't understand. I really don't. This broke my heart, he either forgot I was out there or simply didn't care..... Are either of those a good choice? I grabbed my keys and left. No bra, the clothes I have laid around in for two days, I just left. I felt if I didn't I would explode. Now I am sitting in the parking lot of a closed store and have no idea what to do next. It's been over two hours and he hasn't even called. Could he truly just not give a damn? Am I honestly having to ask that??
I am sorry to clutter this board I just truly have no one to talk to. Not a soul, and I am too afraid to go to my sons grave and talk right now.