So sorry you're hurting, and that things aren't working out as you would like with the guy you care about. A few thoughts. Ultimately you are really the only person who can make yourself feel happy, or safe, or calm. While someone else may provide these feelings for you at times, the reality is that people come and go in our lives, but we will always be left with ourselves. If you are depending on someone else to provide these things you are at a disadvantage as you go through life. It's wonderful if certain people promote good feelings, etc....but to continue a relationship for that reason, if it goes against making wise decisions for your emotional health can be dangerous. And as for scaring him off...no relationship that is based on wishful thinking and not the truth of things can be healthy. Please believe me when I say that I've been there and done that more than I care to admit, and while it may work for a while, in the end things tend to crumble when they are built on wishes and not realities. You, and all of us deserve to be loved and cherished by the person who returns all of our fond feelings, and I hope you find that person soon ~whimsy