Feelings do change yes, but evidently my life does not. Yes Jordan will probably hate me, but its not like I'm doing such a stellar job right now anyway. Her godparents are well-off and can provide things I only dream of. I'm sure they'll get her a T too. She'll be much better off in the long run.

This is not about a mood cycle or an episode that will pass, its about a life that inherently sucks. Its about the fact that I don't want anymore of this ********. Its about the fact that for the last 3yrs (atleast) I've had NO say, Its about the fact that I'm demanding a say!

I think I should have a say in wether this sorry excuse of a life is worth living. I honestly do.

That is why I'm not doing anything impulsive either... I'm giving it (life) time to prove me wrong, if it fails to do so, well then I'm outta here, and the people left behind will no longer be my problem, they can figure out shyt for themselves for a change anyway (I don't mean Jordan she'll have her T and cousins).