I'm a 44 year old man and I have a history of relationships with depressed women. There is something in me that draws me to them. I usually care a lot about them but they are very draining and part of me gets angry that I'm in this situation. Well I recently had a brief relationship with a woman who is very depressed and anxious, although it wasn't so bad when we first met.

Even though it wasn't as bad at first, I could tell when we first met that she was going to be a problem. She acted insecure, very demanding of my attention to help her through her crises, and we had only just met. She was turning to me with despair and I had known her like three weeks. Instead of running, I tried to fulfill the role of helpful friend. I denied myself my true feelings and needs.

She goes through ups and downs, and it was during a "up" that I thought, hey this is going to work as a relationship. She was constantly flirting with me this whole time. So I knew she wanted a relationship. And I agreed. And there were some nice things because she is a caring person. But finally her constant anxiety got to be too much and I said it wasn't going to work.

But I said we could stay friends. I was having a really hard time admitting how much of a problem she is. So it has been about four months now of being "just friends," and she goes through ups and downs, but tonight we hung out a little and it was brutal. She was so depressed, and had zero ability to be present for me.

I wanted to talk about some of the exciting things that are happening to me recently, including my way of understanding my dreams and other people's dreams on the forum here. I love this way of trying to live in harmony with the unconscious mind. Well, she started to make clear that she had a radically different viewpoint and really doesn't like my view of the unconscious. And I wanted so much to feel supported by her, in this thing that meant so much to me.

Folks, please don't tell me to dump her. I'm not dumb. I know when somebody is not good for me. If it were that easy I would have done it already. It's agonizing to have to tell her somehow that she has been a major headache for me and it's best to end it. If you want to help me, then find some way to help me (1) be at peace in the moment and (2) maybe find some way to work toward "releasing" her. But mostly help me be at peace in the moment.