this is one of those times when the ultimate validation just has to be wrong...like "yeah I agree..I'm with you all the way and you are right and by the time you die tomorrow I will already have gone tonite"...

but that's not gonna work at the moment and despite having some issues with my own thinking lately, ie: I'm losing my mind somewhat!)... I'm just gonna stick to the bit where your life Lia is overwhelming you with quite massive problems!... this I most certainly agree with.

I know you well enough to know you don't just flirt with seriously unacceptable observation and experience...and furthermore you don't flirt with even more serious notions of how to deal with it!

...so now I put aside my personal and very affectionate favouritism for you for just a moment for the sake of something more appropriate... an emotion for where things are at...from a friend from a spectator in this diabolical mess! ...and I don't feel comfortable saying it but I felt angry with you.

and I've calmed down now enough to try explain that the best thing in your life right now and forever within yourself is your incredible intelligence....But the worst thing you got going on in your life right now beyond the real and massive problems is your attitude. Now if I was told that? I might reply...: "well asswipe! my intelligence I got already and as for the attitude?.. well that got given to me!" ...or I just say nothing and they never see me again...

...it's clear that your intelligence and your attitude are already in some sort of interaction more likely a collision! to arrive at the place where like it or not? it's exactly the same place we are all in when we have bugger all say about things and want to totally discredit life...the place where we just decide to give life another chance to prove us wrong.

you might tell me to jam my lecturing head up my own crack! but if I didn't love you I wouldn't be angry when you plan to let go.

now ...like I said I'm losing my mind somewhat lately good or bad I don't know or even care and even though these things still look stupid to me they do kinda brighten up the page a bit.