That feeling can be quite alluring. Especially when you're head is spinning out of control and you need a breather. If i could give anyone some advice, it would be to never pick this habit up in the first place...
I'm sorry things are not going well with your husband. I can't imagine being in an unsupportive relationship through all this. (Hugs) I hope you can stay safe and not pick up self harm as a regular release. It does feel good to not feel in the moment, but the consequences can bring about a ****-ton of guilt and problems. And good luck at all the new responsibilities at work. Sometimes it can be daunting, but it sounds like you can do it