In reading these replies and my original post I realized that I really misrepresented myself. If anyone is still with me, I would like to start this over.

I am often depressed myself and have been through some brutal periods of close to suicidal. I have been learning in therapy, over many years to have compassion for this side of myself. I enjoy participating on this forum and lending some help and understanding to people who suffer from depression and OCD, or sharing my experience.

The reason I am attracted to depressed women is that I feel that "happy people" will reject me, because I sometimes feel depressed myself.

I really have never made a relationship work, just suffered in ones that I wanted to get out of. So part of what you are reading in my original post was my own despair. I'm afraid I'll never have an enjoyable relationship. A large part of me wants to be a loner so I don't feel motivated to even try.

Mentioning "anger at a depressed person" probably gave the wrong impression, especially on a forum where many people are depressed. A couple things. I didn't say "I get angry", I said "a part of me gets angry." Which is to say, I don't identify with the anger and act it out. I realize it's my issue. It's simply a response to feeling trapped in a painful situation. It largely originates as anger at myself and my own feelings of helplessness.

I wouldn't really say mean things to her and "dump her." I have an enormous fear that whatever I say will sound like that, however, which is one thing that inhibits me.

I feel free to give compassion and understanding to other people when I'm not in a relationship with them. But I have been getting completely overwhelmed with her depression. Completely.

I'm really stuck. Saying goodbye to her feels like the end of the world. I don't quite understand why. That's why I feel stuck.

Thank you for reading this far, and I hope you can understand what I really meant to say.