I hope I can interject some thoughts on transference and it being worked through and then leading to a relationship between the client and the T. As someone who is experiencing high levels of ET towards her therapist, I also think about what would happen if I did engage him in a real life relationship. For me, I would always be worried about another client taking him away from me. What if he falls in love with someone else and here I am left lonely and even more damaged? I like the fantasy and it hurts to know I cannot have him but I will keep it just a fantasy as this pain is less traumatic than the pain I would feel it fell apart later. I am assuming it is less painful and I am not willing to find out otherwise. I hope this makes sense