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Old May 26, 2013, 08:11 AM
comicgeek007's Avatar
comicgeek007 comicgeek007 is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: The edge of my wits
Posts: 818
Quote:
Originally Posted by ultramar View Post
Hi comicgeek,

You've been forgetting to take your meds on and off for some time now, and very recently decided that you did not want to take them at all anymore. All and all you have seemed to be on the fence about receiving treatment for some time, despite how awful you've been feeling.

This is why your comment about your father jumped out at me. You say that maybe if you flip out from not taking your meds your father will finally believe that you are not 'making things up.' I wonder if this plays more of a role in your issues with medication than it may seem. Just something to think about.

I don't know if this has been suggested before or what your feelings are about it, but I think that th:erapy may be very helpful for you. What's been happening to you seems to have been -understandably- very confusing and maybe some additional support would really help you. Therapy could also help you cope with your illness and with treatment decisions. Do you think it would be possible to go into therapy?

Best of luck.

I have a temp T appointment late this week. So far I feel no more or less stable than when I was taking my meds. I don't have that foggy feeling anymore, like something was blocking my ideas. Maybe I'll actually do well this coming semester since I did really bad in a lot of my classes while medicated- a lot of it directly because of medications (being too dizzy to get out of bed, unable to concentrate on my work, etc) but I feel like deep down I could have done better even though at the same time I feel like I tried my hardest. My dad supports me being off my meds, but that's just in line with the idea he doesn't think anything's wrong with me besides occasionally being a little depressed (three suicide attempts he knows about) but despite liking with my mother who's horribly bipolar (and just a horrible abusive person overall) for many years, he doesn't see my moods as a particular problem and thinks I was exaggerating about being manic (only had one true mania and he wasn't around to see it) even though my T was the one who suggested I was, not me!

I'm the kid who never complained about illnesses unless they got so bad it was dangerous ( bad sinus infection, whatever the hell went wrong with my kidneys, etc) partially because I have a fairly high pain tolerance, especially when depressed, but a lot because it seems whenever I do complain about an illness, it's'not as bad as I think it is' and I should just stop complaining about it.because it'ssuposedly nothing to worry about. The same has been true with bipolar so far. Dad thinks it's just bouts of depression despite what my T and pdoc think so with enough willpower and therapy, I can just get over it. AURRGH!! It doesn't work that way!
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Bipolar 2 (in remission), anorexia (in remission), and trichotillomania, also have conversion disorder that seems to be rearing its ugly head again.

100mg Lamictal
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