thank you ickydog and soidhonia. i survived. he didnt rule out the eating disorder though. ruled it in. then he started talking about inpatient care and my jaw nearly hit the floor. was stunned. it wont work with my schedule right now though and he thinks im probably not sick enough anyway which i guess is a good thing.
i feel so sick today. it hurts to turn my head, my throat hurts, i feel really nauseous. and thats only physically. i feel totally broken down emotionally. just in bits. been thinking of si which i have managed not to do in ages and i hate myself so much for posting on this board looking for support when i dont give much myself. im better at giving support in chat and i rarely seem to see people in chat here. i just feel at the utter end of my rope here. i cant keep going any more. i really need just to hear a friendly 'voice'. i need a hug and all day all i can do is pretend to be just normal and happy. i cant even keep up the pretense any more. had to skip class today because i was so sick in body and soul.
omg i whine so much. just shut up! ok im shutting up.