I feel the same way about my dad after he told me about his own childhood... not a combat thing, but he grew up in Europe during the war... I have trouble sometimes remembering he too, is a damaged human being. It does not have to negate or lessen the impact of the suffering caused by him, but understanding makes it hard to be as angry as I wish I could be with him. Most of the time I end up feeling sorry for him... same with his sister (she probably has undiagnosed schizophrenia).
It's ok knowing the roots of the evil and still being angry with it all... (hugs)