Mandrec and to the others who've brought up Jordan; Its not that I want to put Jo thru losing her mom, she already has no dad. Its not about wanting to leave her or not caring about what happens to her, its just some sort of depressive narcissism,

I want to do what I choose for a change, with complete disregard for everyone else. I'm just tired of doing whats in everyone's best interest, I'm tired of being last on the damn list. I want a say in what I put up with, and what I'm obligated to do instead of having crap dropped in my lap time after time.

Yes that sounds mean and completely selfish. Its selfish on steroids! But gues that's what you get for being selfless your whole life, you end up wanting to be selfish in the most drastic of ways...

I'm not actively suicidal, just adamant that I have the right to check out if things don't change. So I'm safe, please nobody panic ok?